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  • Home
  • About
    • The Happy Fan Club
  • Offerings
    • Redesign Your Life 2.0
    • Get Creative
    • Personal Coaching
  • Creativity Conversations
  • LET'S CONNECT!
  • Blog
    • Live Free Your Way
    • Seeing Things Differently
    • Mistaking Assumptions for Truth
    • How Humor Keeps Us Sane
    • Know Thyself
    • Peach Pie for Breakfast
    • Explore Experience Express
    • Should You Be Downshifting?
    • Stop the Hustle!
    • Do Your Habits Serve or Sabotage
    • Settle Down? Down Where?
    • What Lights You Up?
    • Saying Yes When Your Mind Says No
    • Independence From What?
    • Letting Ourselves Off the Hook
    • Letting Go of Assumptions
    • Is Kindness Allowed?
    • How to Throw a Wrench in the Works
    • Happiness
    • Daring to be Lighthearted
    • What Happens When You See Things Differently
    • Find Delight in Everyday Life
    • Are You Saying What Needs to Be Said
    • Is Your Life in Alignment
    • Are You Trapped by Your Past
    • Can You Love Your Life
    • The Hallmark of Creativity
    • Out Of Ideas?
    • Waking Up to a New World
    • Are You a Possibilitarian?
    • Want to Love Your Life?
    • Is Creativity Necessary
    • What's Stopping You?
    • An Unexpected Discovery
    • Free Your Mind
    • Is Your Creative Genius Hiding
    • Empty Headed or Clear Minded?
    • Is Stress Really Necessary?
    • Will Creativity Improve Your Life?
    • Is Creativity In Your Future?
    • Replace Fear With Love
    • How to Get Out of Your Own Way
    • Just Take A Moment
    • You Don't Have To - You Get To
    • The Good News About Being Stuck
    • Interested in Inner Freedom?
    • Are You a Hoarder?
    • What Remains
    • Co-vid 19 Free Pass to the Roller Coaster
    • Grace Under Pressure
    • Now is the Time To Notice
    • Hanging With the Wrong Crowd
    • Make Your Life Simpler
    • What Could Be Different For You
    • Everything is a Miracle
    • Do You Have A Negativity Bias
    • Are You Really Seeing Or Just Assuming?
    • Happiness and Resilience
    • Wherever You Go, There You Are
    • Is Stress Making You Sick?
    • What I Wish My Humans Knew
    • Looking Backwards
    • Daring to Change Course
    • Lost in Thought or Taking Action?
    • Still Can't Focus?
    • Do Your Thoughts Get Dark and Gloomy?
    • Can't Focus?
    • An Instant Formula for New Ideas
    • Talk Yourself Out of Another Great Idea?
    • Is Your Busyness Keeping You From Getting Things Done?
    • What's that Feeling In the Pit of My Stomach?
    • How Cool is This?
    • How to Make Your New Year Happier
    • Why Be Open To Life?
    • Simple Ways to Transform Your Life
    • Get Clarity and Confidence
    • Are You Driven by Fear or Love?
    • The Number One Way to Keep Your Vision Alive and Well
    • Why Stop Trying to Figure it Out?
    • What Are You Trying to Prove?
    • Do Your Goals Reflect Your Hearts Desire
    • Why My Cat is My Spiritual Teacher
    • Surviving the Holidays
    • 3 Convincing Reasons
    • 3 Secrets to Enjoying the Holidays
    • 5 Quick Steps to Get Your Mojo Back
    • 3 Ways to Keep Your Energy High
    • 5 Reasons to Do Good
    • Pain Relief for the Soul
    • Tired of Living by the Rules? Go Rogue!
    • What? You've Made a Mess? Excellent!
    • Why You Need to Be Inspired Now
    • Change Your Life in Just 48 Hours?
    • The Cure For Mental Overload
    • 5 Infallible Ways to Stay Inspired
  • Newsletter

Turn Holiday Loneliness into Holiday Love

12/3/2015

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For a lot of people, the holidays are painful. Especially if you’re single, separated or divorced or grieving the loss of a loved one. It’s easy to feel as though you’re on the outside looking in when everyone else seems so happy to be caught up in socializing, spending money and eating and drinking way too much. Or you might just be thoroughly turned off by the media-inspired hype that gives people a false picture of holiday togetherness and gift giving that completely overlooks the true meaning of all the holidays celebrated  this time of year.

Loneliness is a sense of being disconnected. No wonder the urge to bury oneself under the covers. But that would only reinforce the sense that there’s nothing you can do. The good news: there IS something you can do! The first step is to be willing to experiment with the idea that you have a choice in what you do during the holidays. Yes, you may have strongly reinforced beliefs about whether you're lovable or deserving and you may have had bad experiences with toxic people in the past, but that doesn’t have to determine how you act from this point on.
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When you’re willing to step out of the story of who you used to be, you can begin to create the story of who you are now. Where you used to isolate yourself, you can override that habit and start giving love and kindness to others. Find a way to seek out opportunities. Volunteer, participate in community activities, ask someone to join you at a holiday event, do random acts of kindness, find a way to express gratitude or appreciation to others. Yes, by all means take good care of yourself and only spend time with people whose values are consistent with yours. What you’ll discover is this:  by coming out from under the covers and giving others the gifts of love and caring, you'll be receiving those same gifts yourself. In fact, those feelings don't depend on what others do or say. They were in you all along, just waiting for the opportunity for you to express them.

And if you think you need a little help getting there, here’s another free healing audio tool to help you on your way.
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    Nina Lockwood, MSW, HTCP, is a healer, teacher and coach.

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