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  • Home
  • About
    • The Happy Fan Club
  • Offerings
    • Redesign Your Life 2.0
    • Get Creative
    • Personal Coaching
  • Creativity Conversations
  • LET'S CONNECT!
  • Blog
    • Live Free Your Way
    • Seeing Things Differently
    • Mistaking Assumptions for Truth
    • How Humor Keeps Us Sane
    • Know Thyself
    • Peach Pie for Breakfast
    • Explore Experience Express
    • Should You Be Downshifting?
    • Stop the Hustle!
    • Do Your Habits Serve or Sabotage
    • Settle Down? Down Where?
    • What Lights You Up?
    • Saying Yes When Your Mind Says No
    • Independence From What?
    • Letting Ourselves Off the Hook
    • Letting Go of Assumptions
    • Is Kindness Allowed?
    • How to Throw a Wrench in the Works
    • Happiness
    • Daring to be Lighthearted
    • What Happens When You See Things Differently
    • Find Delight in Everyday Life
    • Are You Saying What Needs to Be Said
    • Is Your Life in Alignment
    • Are You Trapped by Your Past
    • Can You Love Your Life
    • The Hallmark of Creativity
    • Out Of Ideas?
    • Waking Up to a New World
    • Are You a Possibilitarian?
    • Want to Love Your Life?
    • Is Creativity Necessary
    • What's Stopping You?
    • An Unexpected Discovery
    • Free Your Mind
    • Is Your Creative Genius Hiding
    • Empty Headed or Clear Minded?
    • Is Stress Really Necessary?
    • Will Creativity Improve Your Life?
    • Is Creativity In Your Future?
    • Replace Fear With Love
    • How to Get Out of Your Own Way
    • Just Take A Moment
    • You Don't Have To - You Get To
    • The Good News About Being Stuck
    • Interested in Inner Freedom?
    • Are You a Hoarder?
    • What Remains
    • Co-vid 19 Free Pass to the Roller Coaster
    • Grace Under Pressure
    • Now is the Time To Notice
    • Hanging With the Wrong Crowd
    • Make Your Life Simpler
    • What Could Be Different For You
    • Everything is a Miracle
    • Do You Have A Negativity Bias
    • Are You Really Seeing Or Just Assuming?
    • Happiness and Resilience
    • Wherever You Go, There You Are
    • Is Stress Making You Sick?
    • What I Wish My Humans Knew
    • Looking Backwards
    • Daring to Change Course
    • Lost in Thought or Taking Action?
    • Still Can't Focus?
    • Do Your Thoughts Get Dark and Gloomy?
    • Can't Focus?
    • An Instant Formula for New Ideas
    • Talk Yourself Out of Another Great Idea?
    • Is Your Busyness Keeping You From Getting Things Done?
    • What's that Feeling In the Pit of My Stomach?
    • How Cool is This?
    • How to Make Your New Year Happier
    • Why Be Open To Life?
    • Simple Ways to Transform Your Life
    • Get Clarity and Confidence
    • Are You Driven by Fear or Love?
    • The Number One Way to Keep Your Vision Alive and Well
    • Why Stop Trying to Figure it Out?
    • What Are You Trying to Prove?
    • Do Your Goals Reflect Your Hearts Desire
    • Why My Cat is My Spiritual Teacher
    • Surviving the Holidays
    • 3 Convincing Reasons
    • 3 Secrets to Enjoying the Holidays
    • 5 Quick Steps to Get Your Mojo Back
    • 3 Ways to Keep Your Energy High
    • 5 Reasons to Do Good
    • Pain Relief for the Soul
    • Tired of Living by the Rules? Go Rogue!
    • What? You've Made a Mess? Excellent!
    • Why You Need to Be Inspired Now
    • Change Your Life in Just 48 Hours?
    • The Cure For Mental Overload
    • 5 Infallible Ways to Stay Inspired
  • Newsletter

Self Healing through Self Compassion

1/25/2016

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Becoming mindful of negative self-talk can begin a process of healing within you that will not only mend your own broken heart but make you more compassionate and more understanding of the same kind of suffering in others.

A lot of us grew up in a setting (maybe more than one) where being punished, criticized or threatened was used a lot to intimidate us into changing the way we thought, felt or acted. Parents, teachers, bosses, even religious settings sometimes still buy into a well-entrenched belief that this is the most effective method to get people to behave differently.  But if you consider the amount of suffering caused by criticism and then, of course, self criticism, is it really all that effective?

Yes and no. It does work, but such a heavy price is paid that it’s time to re-examine and replace what motivates us. So many of us have internalized this technique and still inflict pain on ourselves; just listen to the self talk when you think you’ve done something wrong or it’s not good enough. Ouch! 
Whether it’s a new year or a new moment, the first step towards healing yourself through self compassion is to notice when you’re using self criticism to “motivate” yourself to do better or be better. When you hear those mean-spirited voices in your head or actually hear yourself saying things about yourself out loud, it won’t be hard to notice that it hurts.

What would your best friend, your mentor or teacher or Wise Self suggest as an infinitely more compassionate motivation to heal and restore your essential well being? Love? Your own happiness? A sense of fulfillment or authentic self expression?  Being hard on yourself may be chronic but it doesn’t have to ruin your life. Realize that back then, you were an innocent, absorbing the consequences, and perpetuating this harmful response so that you could protect yourself from further pain and suffering. 

​Let today be the day you begin to heal yourself by choosing understanding and kindness. When you catch that negative self talk, notice how and where it hurts. You might even find it helpful to put your hand over your heart and take a deep, cleansing breath as you give yourself compassion for what you’ve been through. Then, offer yourself a more supportive form of self talk, one which brings out the best in you.

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